Woman and dog and sushi in a park (come on, sushi, phishing, this stuff is comedy gold!)

Internet Basics for imbeciles

Rather than address the problem of dog poo in parks, the City of Vancouver chose to suppress our message by falsely accusing us of phishing, and complaining to our web hosts that you, learned citizens, are too thick to realise that this is not the bona fide City of Vancouver website (Editor's note: Shurely 'bona fido' Ed.). In response, we have put together this helpful training course...

What is phishing?

NOUN

the practice of using fraudulent e-mails and copies of legitimate websites to extract financial data from computer users for purposes of identity theft

How to spot a phishing website?

  • Suspicious URLs: Fraudsters create URLs that look similar to trusted ones (e.g., using .org instead of .com, or subtle spelling changes). Be wary of strange top-level domains (e.g., .ru, .poo) rather than standard ones.
  • Missing or Incorrect HTTPS: While many phishing sites now use HTTPS (padlock icon), a lack of it (only HTTP) is a major red flag.
  • Poor Design and Functionality: Look for blurry logos, poor grammar, spelling mistakes, and low-quality images.

How to protect yourself

  • Enable Multi-Factor Authentication (MFA): Set up 2FA/MFA on all sensitive accounts to prevent unauthorized access even if passwords are stolen.
  • Navigate Directly: Instead of clicking links, open a new browser tab and type the official website address yourself.
  • Hover Before You Click: Hover your mouse over any link (or long press on a mobile) to see the actual web address before clicking.
  • Be Sceptical of Urgency: Be wary of emails creating panic, such as demanding urgent action or threatening to close accounts.

Top indications we're not phishing

  1. We don't ask for any data from you. Heck, unlike the City of Vancouver website (which is full of trackers) we don't even track you!
  2. We scrawled "poo" in brown writing in the logo (hardly subtle).
  3. We also wrote "poo" in the URL (very mature, we know).
  4. We put a bloody big bright yellow banner at the top of the page to make the distinction clear.
  5. If you click a link that takes you to the City of Vancouver website we warn you before you leave that you are taking a risk — they used underhand methods to suppress legitimate information about dog poo in parks. Beware what else they might be keeping from you...

If you are confused, then please ensure that in future you only browse the Internet under the supervision of a competent adult.